Yahiko, my lovbrat
by ryuu3
Summary: yahiko drives the whole ojo crazy....
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimers: None of the RK characters belong to me. But they will, you'll see!!!. Ryuu will always be Ryuu. MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

A/N: this piece is suitable for older readers, well..not because there will be a lemon here!!.*blush blush* I don't write lemons!!!. This may be a bit boring because I want to convey an adult-like advice here. I am sure it won't be a good piece, because I'm not an adult myself. So, read at your own risk.

CHAPTER ONE –YAHIKO, MY BRRAATT!!. 

"Back off, Busu!!. You don't need to tell me what I should do!!." Yahiko yelled at the top of his lungs.

"What did you say, you brrrraaaat??!!." Kaoru's scream rivaled Yahiko's.

Surprisingly, Yahiko dashed out from the dojo in a sprint.

"I can't understand what's going on with him. What a jerk!. He's not supposed to….but then…stupid brat….." Kaoru was muttering under her breath while she scrubbed the floor clean, which should be Yahiko's job. Worse, the reward for her diligent cleaning was her own ugly scowling face on the floor when she was finished. _Now I can understand why he calls me Busu all the time. I…AM…**UGLY!!!.**_ The realization made her more furious, and she grabbed the wooden basin and hauled it flying across the hall.

"OOORRRROOOO!!!!!"

Kenshin was sprawled on the floor with clean clothes scattered on top of him and around him. He was a terrible mess. He struggled to sit, and when he finally succeeded, he fell down again. Kaoru's brush hit him square on his forehead. He let out a breath of 'oro' before collapsing on the floor the second time.

Kaoru took her sweet time glaring at her own reflection without noticing the damage she'd done to the poor rurouni. 

Kenshin tried to stand up, but he fell down again. He stepped on the brush on his haste to get up. This time, his mouth hadn't had to let out anything. His body graciously did it for him. He landed on his bottom with a loud thud enough to bring Kaoru out from her endless stupor. He thought he heard a crack then.

"Kenshin?"

Kaoru came running towards him in an attempt to help him up, but then.. "Kenshiiinnn!!!" she was sliding towards him on the wet floor. Kenshin opened his eyes wide in fear. "Kaoru-dono!!!..You'll bump into sessha!!!!". And she did just that. Kenshin fell down for the fourth time, with Kaoru's  left foot on his face.

"ou…" she rubbed her backside. "It hurts like hell!!"

_Well, I thought I should say that._ Kaoru was still rubbing her bottom._ She should rub mine too. I fell four times, so…_ Kenshin stopped his silly thoughts before his face turned the darker shade of red. "What are you doing here, Kaoru-dono?. He asked to stop his silly thoughts from expanding. "I thought Yahiko is doing the scrubbing today."

It was a very dangerous act to bring up that name.

"Mou…that lazy undisciplined brat!!!." She looked at the mess around her and sighed. "And now I have to clean up the mess. It's all because of the good-for-nothing shrimp!!. I'll kill him for this!!." Her face was beat-red by then. "Yahiko will be a delicious meal tonight. Yes, that's right. Wait till he gets home." She has already stomped her way along the corridor, with dark clouds and thunders rolling above her. "I'll kill him, then I'll slay his skin off, and then I'll…. maybe he's better without his head…and he can't shout at me…I'll like this….mwahahahahah!!!"

Kenshin's jaw dropped onto the floor. _Kaoru looks angrier and worse than the worst hitokiri in __Japan__. _Of course, the worst hitokiri in Japan, was Kenshin himself, 'the Hitokiri Battousai'. _And the gleam in her eyes is enough to kill. Oh no, I have to stop her, or else, Sano will have nobody to pound on, and he'll turn to me!!!. I can't let that happen, no way!._

"Kaoru-dono!!!!!. CHOTTO MATTE!!!!." Kenshin turned around, only to find him surrounded by clothes everywhere, but no Kaoru-dono in his sight. "Orooo…" _Guess I'll just pray that Yahiko will come home late…"_  He cleaned up the mess, thinking that Yahiko might be a delicious meal, if he was to be chopped into pieces and put into miso soup. Kenshin shook his head. _He might be screaming and muttering Busu even when he's pieces of meat…that stupid brat. I can't eat a bowl of misowith a screaming and howling Yahiko in…yeah, maybe Kaoru's right, he's better without his head on…_

A/N: so, whaddaya think?

I know it's quite short….i'm actually quite under the weather myself. I can't open my Vamp in Love files which I've written up to chap 7!!! Waaarrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, ignore poor ryuu.

Get on with….providing something for her to smile at….REVIEW!!:)


	2. YAHIKO, MY SUSHI, SASHIMI AND TEMPURA!

Disclaimers: None of the RK characters belong to me. But they will, you'll see!!!. Ryuu will always be Ryuu. MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

A/N: pls imagine a PSYCHOTIC Kaoru before you start reading. It'll make her feel better. This chapter is not recommended to the loving and compassionate souls. Contains violent images regarding murder, and murder. Our docile tanuki can be very fierce sometimes, and of course, she's a creative tanuki.

CHAPTER TWO: YAHIKO, MY SUSHI, SASHIMI AND TEMPURA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  " Kaoru-dono!!!!!!!!...where are you?. I'm going to the market now. Do you have anything else you need?." Hearing no response for that, Kenshin stood up from the porch and made his way to the gate, almost whistling lightly. Kaoru was not muttering or screaming anymore and she had been a nice and cute doll sweeping around the house. No expression, no anger whatsoever. That should be good enough, he thought. Maybe he didn't have to see Yahiko's head in his bowl today.

   "Ne, Kenshin..can I go along?!!!", Kaoru shouted from the porch, waving her broom wildly that the dried leaves on the ground flew around her. "Wait for me, Kenshin!!!!!!!!!!!".

_   Oro…maybe she's lonely…well, it's good to have her around._ " Yes, Kaoru-dono!!!!. I'll wait for you here!!!."

   A few minutes passed by and Kaoru joined him outside the gate. "Let's go, Kenshin."

     They walked passed the houses in comfortable silence, the only sounds heard were the rustling of dried leaves on the ground. The air was fine, the sun was bright, everything was perfect…except Kaoru. It's not that she had two red fireballs as her cheeks, not that her eyes were gleaming with something dangerous within, not that her lips were curled in an evil smirk……

   "Kaoru-dono?...are you okay?. You look…" Kenshin scanned her reddened face, "quite flustered. Are you coming down with a fever?. I think you shouldn't have gone with me today. Maybe you should go back, the sun is just too hot today. Let's go Kaoru-dono, I'll take you__"

  "Shut up, you idiot. I have a mission to complete today." 

  At that Kenshin scanned her face Again. This time more thoroughly he could count her eyelashes. _Oh Kami…this is not good..she posseses every features a hitokiri should have. Vicious eyes, evil smirk, cold and calculating face. Don't tell me she's going to go-Battousai!!!_

 "Kaoru-dono….whatever are you planning to do today, if I may ask you?" he gulped when she turned her vicious gleaming eyes at him.

"Why..nothing of course. Except I planned to cook someone tonight, didn't I?"

Kenshin froze. _She IS going Battousai now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!._

"Ummm… that you did, Kaoru-dono."

"That's why I'm tagging along. I have to buy some 'accessories' to chop his body into pieces, and some 'seasoning' to add, since he won't taste very good, is that right, Kenshin?"

Kenshin gulped again, this time swallowing more saliva than before. "Yes, Kaoru-dono. He won't taste very good." _What's harm in telling the truth? Yahiko won't taste any better than the sand. And Kaoru's cooking won't help either."_

"What did you say, Kenshin?. I thought I head something about sand."

_Didn't know a going-Battousai-Kaoru posseses a superhuman hearing as well!!!!!_

"Huh?. I said he'll taste like the sand. That's all." Kenshin lowered his head until his bangs completely covered his eyes. _Wow, she's starting to freak me out!!._

"Mou..Kenshin, why do you look so tensed?" at that, Kenshin snapped his head up and wildly shook it. Kaoru looked at him with innocent eyes. " Oh..don't worry Kenshin. I remember your vow. I won't ask you to do it."

_Vow?. What vow?. _" Huh?" Kenshin look puzzled, and dumb as well. "What vow, Kaoru-dono?"

"Your vow not to kill anymore. I won't violate it. I'll do it myself."

_HUH?. _Kenshin blinked.

"The murder of Myojin Yahiko, the so-called Tokyo Samurai will be executed by the master herself, Kamiya Kaoru, master of Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu, the sword that protects everyone except stubborn little brats." With that, she smiled triumphantly, looking like one of the warlords who's holding the head of his worst enemy ever. "oh…but I didn't bring my shinai. It's fine anyway, I can always use whatever tat is in the kitchen." And she walked while thinking of many possible ways to gain her goal.

_We have three butcher knives in there, two for skinning the fish, and…there's more in the store. Pans can be fatal, and we have five of them, bowls and glasses and spoons and chopsticks may hurt a little. Kami!. I don't think I want to have a fillet-o-Yahiko for dinner tonight!!_

"Kaoru-dono!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Chotto matte!!!. I think we should be going to the lake instead, the day is so bright to__Oorro!! Gomen Kaoru-dono!!!". He bumped into her,but this time, they didn't fall down together like they always did before. Kaoru's spine was as hard and unbending like his sakabatou. " What's wrong, Kaoru-dono?."

She stood still. Her gaze was locked to a certain spot where the dust and dirt is swirling in a circle. Now and then you can see a hed poking out from the dust. One of the heads was Yahiko's. and all the while, you can hear shouting and screaming and swearing. Most of them came from Yahiko. Dust and dirt still swirled around them when finally one of the boys was sent out flying towards a fruit seller.

Kaoru was looking as red as the devil itself, both from the heat from the sun and from within herself. Anger was seeping through her like a hungry wolf. The blood was pumping rapidly, and finally producing fumes that puffed out from her flared nostrils. Some came out from her ears and gathered above her head to form a massive rain cloud. Thunder was rolling in it, but still Yahiko hasn't emerged from the dust ball.

" Yahiko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. YOU'RE DEFINITELY  GOING TO BE MY SUSHI, SASHIMI AND TEMPURA TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


End file.
